I Explained Why I Was Right. So Why Won't They Move?

You laid out something correct, step by step. And the other person still won’t budge. Sound familiar?

Early in my career, I thought that if I explained something correctly and clearly, people would act on it.

If the logic held up, the data was there, and the proposal was reasonable, surely things would move in that direction.

In practice, it wasn’t that simple.

Everyone has their own circumstances. Things they’re protecting. A history that led them here. A decision that looks irrational from the outside often makes sense once you see it from where that person is standing.

That doesn’t mean being right doesn’t matter. It’s the foundation.

It’s just not enough on its own.

What is the other person worried about? What would be a problem if it changed? Who do they have to answer to? Can they actually move on this right now?

Only once you’ve seen that far does a correct proposal become one people can actually act on.

So when I make a proposal, I want to think through the position the other person is in.

What I want out of work isn’t to win an argument.

It’s to move things in a good direction.

Next time someone won’t move on something I know is right, I want to resist the urge to assume they “just don’t get it,” and ask instead what they might be trying to protect. I think the people who can hold onto being right while also thinking about the conditions that let people act are, in the end, the stronger ones.